No energy to…

• vacuum the house

• do the dishes

• fold all the laundry

Believe me, I know from experience what that is like… And I will tell you what you can do when you feel like you cannot do anything anymore.

Young and burned out

Four years ago I was home, burned out. I was young, I had only been working as a teacher of English for three years but there I was… I had ignored my boundaries and all the warning signs for quite a while because I was such a perfectionist, and on top of that I was teaching full time. Until I wasn’t. I was burned out, so gone were the days of doing things perfectly because I was so tired. Getting out of bed and having a shower was a triumph. Having dinner while video calling with my mom was a no go, because then I couldn’t think or put sentences together. Let alone doing anything household related like vacuuming, doing the dishes or folding laundry.

Overwhelmed by your to do list

I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed by everything that is on your to do list. Or just to be overwhelmed in general because besides being a mother/ wife/ teacher/ etc. as an autistic person there is just that one thing extra to deal with on a daily basis. And you know what, that one thing extra to deal with on a daily basis? I found out almost everyone has that, one way or another. Whether you have a child that is ill, you lost your job and struggle financially, whether you’re autistic or living through a pandemic, life can feel pretty overwhelming from time to time.

What if you can lower the bar?

How reassuring is it to realize that you can lower the bar. Acknowledge what you’re already doing! Celebrate the things you are able to do and be kind to yourself. And remember:

• You don’t have to do everything perfectly.

• Not vacuuming the entire house, but just the kitchen is OK too.

• Instead of folding all the laundry, you can set a timer for 2 minutes and just see what you get done.

But what about when you’re so tired you feel like you can’t do anything while there is so much waiting to be done? How can you get anything done? The turning point for me was when I realized:

Anything worth doing, is worth doing 2 minutes.

When I realized I don’t have to do things perfectly or even finish them, I felt so freed of the never ending feeling of having to do things. Surprisingly, I noticed that sometimes, after the 2 minutes were done, I could keep going for a little while. But I never had to anymore because what if you can lower the bar?